Let me start off by saying I KNOW how lucky our family is that Brad and I get to be off together during the summer and during all of the breaks throughout the year. Also, let me preface this by saying I am VERY excited to start my new job, and I am THANKFUL for God’s provision…BUT…
It is HARD!
I honestly know that God has not released me from teaching. I know if I was supposed to stay at home he would provide financially for us, but that’s not what he wants from me right now. I know God wants me to be teaching. I had an AWESOME moment in my classroom the other day where an overwhelming sense of peace just washed over me…BUT…
It is HARD!
It is hard to leave your baby everyday, it’s hard knowing that the time you spend with them in the evening is their worst time of day, it’s hard knowing that someone else is playing Mom while you’re at work, it’s hard knowing they miss you, it’s hard knowing that you are missing things, it’s hard knowing I will miss Emery every.single.day…
It is just plain HARD!
I have told Emery every day that it’s not that I don’t want to stay home with her, but that Mommy wants to be a good listener to God, and that I’m working because that’s what is best for OUR family, and HER. I wonder in the back of my mind and out loud to Brad every day (bless.his.heart) if Emery will wonder why her other friends’ mommies stay home with them everyday, and if she’ll question my love for her. I know these thoughts are irrational, and I’m crazy…BUT they are real to me, and to lots of other working Mom’s I know…BUT…
He is our strength, our rock, our shelter, our stronghold (Psalm 18:2). He is all knowing (Matt. 10:30), he is faithful (Deut. 7:9), he is loving (1 John 4:8), he provides for us (John 21:6). He love us more than we love our children that we leave when we go to work, so we can take refuge in the fact that he has our best interest at heart, and that those CRAZY thoughts that we’re bound to have almost daily are not of him, and he is the only truth. He will strengthen our families and us individually if we are faithful and obedient to him. I am making a commitment this year to pray for God to strengthen me, and to strengthen my family as we are obedient to him, and I will be praying for all of you working Mom’s too (all three of you that read this blog haha)!
