I love Easter. Its finally warm outside, the flowers are full in bloom, church is always packed, and I seem to always be in anticipation for God to do something powerful…most years. This year I have been SOUR, in fact I’ve felt a little bit like this…
Let me explain…
Brad had to have surgery on his shoulder last Wednesday. We both thought it would be a minor surgery, and we would still be on our way to the beach for the first time as a family of three by Saturday, BUT…we were wrong, dead wrong. This was not a “minor surgery”, in fact there was nothing minor about it. Once they got into his shoulder, they discovered that his labrum was essentially severed. Surgeons normally use one or two anchors to repair a labrum, and to repair Brad’s his doctor used SIX. His doctor (the same doctor that has operated on Chad Pennington and Donovan McNabb, just to name a few) said it is literally one of the worst shoulders he has ever seen…SO that brings me to this: We did not, and are not going to the beach. Which also means that I am spending my first holiday EVER away from my parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, etc.
Has my attitude been bad? Yes. Have I been a brat to Brad, and probably everyone I’ve come in contact with? Absolutely. Is it his fault? Absolutely not! Have I cared if it was his fault? Nope.
So, I have been bitter about missing out on the beach trip, but I was genuinely looking forward to Easter service at our church. I woke up on Easter like I do every morning to spend some time in the Bible, I really just wanted to thank God for sending his son to die on a cross specifically for me, and to thank Jesus for loving ME enough to hang on that cross and bear my sins. I was sure that this Easter I would have a better understanding of God sending his son, since I am now a mother, but this morning I could NOT get myself and my feelings along with my nasty attitude out of my head…fast forward to church…
We had an unbelievable service this morning, and it ended with cardboard testimonies, and then lots of worship while people prayed for miracles. During one of the songs, God gently reminded me “April, I love you, and I want you to be happy, but sweet girl Easter is NOT about you. It’s not about spending time with family. It’s not about vacation or the Easter Bunny or even Emery’s first Easter basket or Easter dress. It’s not about your family looking nice and getting all dressed up. Sweet child, it is about my son. It is about him hanging on a cross specifically for YOU. It’s about him shedding his blood to save your sins. It’s about my loving you enough to send him.” Now obviously, I didn’t audibly hear any of that, but let me tell you something sweet sisters…I felt it in my heart as clear as day! Right then and there I had to ask for forgiveness from him, and once Brad is in the right frame of mind again I’ll need to ask him for forgiveness too. The rest of the day has been great…We had a good time at Brad’s parents house eating and hunting Easter eggs outside and just spending time with family.
How could I have ever turned something so delicate and so intimate into something about me?
“Oh the Blood” – Kari Jobe
O the blood
Crimson love
Price of life’s demand
Shameful sin
Placed on Him
The Hope of every man
O the blood of Jesus washes me
O the blood of Jesus shed for me
What a sacrifice that saved my life
Yes, the blood, it is my victory
Savior Son
Holy One
Slain so I can live
See the Lamb
The great I Am
Who takes away my sin
O the blood of the Lamb
O the blood of the Lamb
O the blood of the Lamb
The precious blood of the Lamb
What a sacrifice
That saved my life
Yes, the blood, it is my victory
O what love
No greater love
Grace, how can it be
That in my sin
Yes, even then
